Flights of Fancy?...No way!

In a secret place
a heavily guarded fortress for one
designed and implemented
to protect
to serve
An inner chastity belt ~ tightly secured.
 all the while...
the breeze wisps by and speaks loudly and with authority!
"It is open to you!
You must believe"!

"There is no war between two"

"There is no winner or loser"

"Only a right ONE, a right CHOICE".

Solace disturbed by this breeze that speaks as if it knows
what the heart does not. Penetration, regardless of chastity.
Damn this disturbance...damn this! The breeze is simply wrong,
naive, even feeble minded.

I just want to rest!

The breeze wisps by again and says, even more loudly and with even more authority!
"You have been loved with promises and where did that get you"?

"You must know your dreams will come true".
"You've done your part so yes, rest now but know it shall be done and soon".
"Time is the only delay".

"Rest now, for you will need all the energy you can muster"...

Still uncertain as to the breeze's knowledge and message;
skepticism remains.

after a lengthy sleep and soothing rest...

This heart opens like a blooming flower
Full with Fever!

Yet opening gently ~ carefully.
Can this be?
I can just be?

An affirmative, resounding 'YES' comes from far off in the distance
followed by...
"We will find
no boundaries,
no hindrances,
no confused emotions or intentions on my part or yours, my beloved.
Things that were issues in our respective pasts are just that ~ past.
They need not plague the love we are about to embark on.
Walls will crumble and fall"."We will both be FREE~ to just BE".
"This, you and I have designed together...and together we will  BE".


~AMEN to that! ;)


© 2010

image source: KnightsTreasure_LG2
I'm so sure I've used this image before but funny after my words were written I came across this pic again and low & behold...it fits perfectly!
 * Gotta love fairy tales because they can and do come true! ...
for a cute little fantasy click here: 
from the French film 'Happily Ever After' ....I just LOVE Johnny's smile/grin ~ it's so hot! and what a cameo role for him! Loved it!  ;)

*Once again, I have been an absent blogger. I'm not even sure I can call myself a blogger these days.    I am still so busy plus my laptop and connection have been
challenging me big time. I can't upload any new paintings or pics because my laptop usb ports are apparently shot.  But I wanted to make sure to pop in to say Hello!
Still renovating. Still setting up my new Studio. Still painting and working diligently on my new *secret* projects. I cannot wait for the reveal of those, at least in part at some point before September. 
....And,  Still missing you guys! 

intricacies of...

contemplating evanescence
comes a breath of life
nirvana

a soulful love

perceived emotions
movement
tangled in its intricacies

a parade of feelings
thoughts
wonderings...

deciphering
the story of ~
what was dreamed
and what we have BECOME.

© 2010

image source: 2tumblr_krk5a9S0uw1qzpe8uo1

Love for Keats
you think it almost crude to loveso fair; so much
conceived in quiet beauty
love can feign the faint of heartit springs forth from buds of weakened desiremade strongmade wholesustaining all elsefrail health ~ so cruel
 love requires its chanceits favourallow it its  earthly place, season,  time
let history know his love
let the romantic poet live within us all...
© 2010* inspired by the film - 'Bright Star' ... and by my beloved poet John Keats (1795-1821) 

as I wait for the antidoteto fuel my cure
as I was  living a liethat now revealed ~ obscure.
drifting in and outas I rest now amonglily's baredrenched in their scent existing everywhere
and yet nowhere...
© 2010

image source: tumblr*note: I have been dying to use this image ~ it's so unique! and so it may not match my prose, but hey!  :) ...and I been living that whirlwind of activity so my absence has been extended. I am making many changes, updates to my life,  my home,  my blogs and to my Art. I cannot wait to reveal my latest endeavor but time is needed, quite possibly a few more months...Instead of being absent, I hope to post my *little happenings* ~ if only to keep in touch.  Miss you ALL!!! Much love~ ME

more pics over at:

G A R A H S T A H 

purging the way back into love...

Feeling an urging, a purging, a clearing the way (symbolically) just in time for Valentine's Day!!!

How often do we find ourselves - HURT and wondering how in the hell did I let that happen - again?
We let it happen because we trust and as we all know we can trust to the point of being oblivious to the truth. The phrase love is blind coined by Shakespeare,  was/is too true.

But at the same time, love is grand! It is everything! Love is what urges me on each & every day. I am a hopeful romantic. You all know I believe that is the main reason we are here. When I write about love it is usually one extreme to the other and that 'something' in between. That's the way love goes. We can be fiercely, passionately in love or complacent in that love or we can feel a comfort level , a safeness within that love or anything in between.  I love the grand, fiercely passionate kind of love and I think that can be found and still bring about that sense of comfort and safeness. BUT, we do this ourselves;  for ourselves.  IF we're smart we will make sure we feel this in our own lives, in our own hearts before taking on another love. You would think this knowledge could come at an earlier time in ones life? You would think that once this knowledge came the message would stick?...but not always the case because  love is blind or it can be. I think when we are in love all sense goes out the window, if we're not careful.  IT would be so great if we all knew at a very young age  but chances are we live. we love, we eventually learn.  IT doesn't matter so much what someone; a parent or a mentor tries to teach us. We have to experience, plain and simple. But I always try to instill in my children that they themselves create their own happiness and that love can only add to the richness in their lives. I will keep telling them that,  until I finally get it...... ;)

a poem of purging:

feigned emotions
a counterfeit love
designed
a forgery to the heart

for what?
what purpose?
to understand, one must
enter the mind of a womanizer

he puts forth exhaustive efforts
to make women fall ~
and fall they do...

until they crash and burn
(some bitterly)
to the depths of her own hell

until she realizes
that she cannot live his lie  she will not be his conscience

she'll move heaven & earth
to once again

seek her own beautiful truth
~

sweet images... THAT is the way it should feel...and even with the commercialization of the all too dreaded Valentine's Day...I still believe in LOVEbut if love  lets me down again...
you can find me here....;)

©
2010
image source: veza1_largenbsp; tumblr images and
Cowgirl_in_Heaven+thestoeckleincollection


and a quote I really like: make that love! 

by Howard Zinn

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places -- and there are so many -- where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.

WIP and Christmas my way...

I've been busy the last few days with this WIP and readying for Christmas .

 It's freezing cold here and the winds, well, they'll
blow you away if you let them. I usually love the wind but the wind chill, is
beyond chilly! ;(...but I do love a soft flowing snowfall, the 'magical' kind
like in the classic "It's a Wonderful Life"...I bask in the comfort and warmth
of my home, but I do wish I had a fireplace (one day).
One of the most favourite things we like to do and it has become quite a
tradition, is to watch "Little Women" the Winona Ryder/Christian Bale version.
I just love this movie. We usually watch it the night before Thanksgiving
but this year it turned into a karaoke fest!  I think I must have lived a past life during the early 19th century ;). I love the mere mention of 'Transcendentalism' that is in the movie (sorry ~ I digress)...This is a holiday
film that just puts me in the mood for Christmas. I'm sure it's not a movie for everyone, especially the guys, but you never know.  This was also my favourite novel when I was a kid.
~
There is a story behind each & every ornament on our tree, but that would take too long to tell. But they were either made by my kids, chosen or gifted with great care and love. Sadly, I have so many, some remain in a box as there is just not enough room on this tree. So here are a few pics.  In my old place, 12 foot trees were the norm, but now
my ceilings are lower so 7 1/2 it is...

enjoy~

I haven't even unpacked my Old World Santa collection yet, but it is something I have been collecting for years and treasure! Maybe, I can dig up and old photo or two.

WIP  ~ 16 x 20
mixed media on canvas ~  untitled as yet

I hope all of your holiday preparations are going nicely. I hope this season is eventful in only the best of ways  and exhibit the true season of giving and sharing. This is what means the most to me...Noel

she tried...

she came to this placeafter lookin'  for some peace
ridin those southwestern winds
like the  bohemian soulthat she was at her core...
she was lookin' for her next adventure,sure beat puttin' her head in the sandthe sand, leveled by the love she thought she knewbut she didn't know a damn thingcept' that he was cruel

she could put her head in the sand become the hermitbut she had a destiny
a vivid dance with
her new fate
that called from a far off place
so she roamed the mountains
climbed them
one by one
lookin' over her shoulder
from time to time ~guess that's to be expected

what was it she ran away from?
what kind of past was hers?
was she loved?
had she left a piece of herself
behind in
some old dusty town?the one
where he lived
where he turned to stone

she tried

she gave her all

but times were tough

and livin' meant more.

she had no choice
for she was one who lived
who danced beneath the light of the moon
by night and  under the benevolent sun
by day
she didn't need him anymoreshe never did,
and besides, he left long before she did
and God knowsshe tried
she gave her all
but times were tough
and livin' meant more.
her soul was tellin' her
she needed to thrive
to make love along the way
to never cry so hard that she
had to assume the fetal position and just hide away
no, that wasn't her way
temptin' it was, during those rough spells
but she had too much to do
too much to see
and so much to Believe
it was out there for the takin'

but she knew the secret was not to
take but to give her little heart out
and that ~ all her dreams would make!

© 2009
image source: rebekka_guamp240leifsdamp243ttirloosely lyrics...
*long last look, she's still carryin' that damn baggage ~ maybe, it's time to kick that to the curb!

southbound train to nowhere...

as she walks the tracks of her life she wonders what part he will playor is wanting him like riding a southbound train to nowhere?

 he speaks
cojoles, teases,
implies
as if he knows all that has been and will ever be

 she just wants to be free, 
yet she's tackled
like a quarterback on Sunday
wantin' to move down that field
and
trippin' on steps made
for those over three

 his freedom is
not the same as herssome say, "shackled by beliefs that have no place
 in the realm of love"
 all is not said and done!she's acutely aware
of rights and wrongs
 and invisible constraints
that pull like the white of the straight jacket
that strangles the life from
the virtuous woman
she needs to be
and she, she just wants to be free

yet she's tackled
like a quarterback on Sunday
wantin' to move down that field
and
trippin' on steps made
for those over three
~where will she be, come Winter?
when earth sleeps
and the north winds blow
as the ravens make their turn about town
with their tail feathers all aglow
what do the ravens know?...she may never know
as she rides that southbound train to nowhere...

©  2009loosely lyrics...definitely, a work-in-progress!

image source: Train_Tracks_2_by_batsforlashes

and so 'not' related to my poem.
take a listen to an awesome new song with Daughtry and Vince Gill ~ here, by pressing the orange button, once you are on the site:
http://www.elyrics.net/read/d/daughtry-lyrics/tennessee-line-lyrics-18.html

*I met Vince a few years ago, what a sweet man!...Even tho' I rarely listen to country music these days, I will always have a soft spot for Vince.
and kudos to Richard Marx for bringing these two together!
He's not only a brilliant songwriter but just plain, brilliant!

sacred dreams~ sacred love...

you entered my dreams,
sacred dreams
immersed in sensuality
in a sweet softness of
heart-soul love

my dreams
became something
something more,
more beautiful
more sacred
each time I dreamt of you

each time the Gods
allowed me to hold you in
my thoughts and in my arms

each time you spoke
without words
you let me know just how much
you loved me
how you treasured US

for years now
you have visited my dreams
held me closer than even real-life imaginings
knew me better than any real-life soul ever could

your appearance changed
each time but maintained a certain consistency
dark hair, dark eyes
yet feeling the same each time
always strong
always brilliant
always gentle and kind
always knowing that you could never harm
my heart, my body or my soul
you regard my spirit as your spirit
we are One
we are Love
we are forever joined
symbolically
figuratively
literally
spiritually in the heavens born
forever, no matter the lack of
your physical presence in the now
because your soul presence
is always there, always near
as I feel you in my daytime thoughts
and in my daytime dreams
I feel you moving closer

...and I love you


and someday, my twin-soul Love
you will enter my wakened life

and we will be forever set free...

©
2009
image source: protection_by_Vic4U (one of my all-time faves)...

vertigo...

it comes on strong
out of nowhere
...as can love

it goes
out of nowhere
...as can love

flooded with sensations
dizzying moments
equilibrium  ~ out of control
swaying
uncertaintyhead in the clouds
moving
more swaying

to the left
to the right
upside
downside
backward
forward

fluttering herefluttering there
...as
love
moves

to what degree?
what are the
symptoms of love?

Love:
sweaty palms
racing heart
tummy butterflies
lightheadedness
daydreaming
made useless
loss of appetite
no need for sleepanticipation
inability to concentrate

it's almost as if
 Love = Vertigo

but one can take a prescription for Vertigo
what can one take for Love?

...but more Love!


©
2009

image source: Vertigo pic of and by Calli* correction: pic not by Callipic by Alexandra 

temper this heart...

she stands
paralyzed
unsure
yet
wanting

she is caught
in the glitz of him

her dreams wandered
took hold, then dissipatedno chance,no chance of fruition

knowing full well
she should run
make haste
temper this desire
this need
to be near, him

for he has not proven himself to her
he has not shown that she can let go
she feels frozen in time
in that time of loving himshe remembers, all too well...
chainedin this space
this wanton space

she wants to let go
she wants to understand
this limbo, this grey space
with so many broken places
she wants
to be free to love
yet letting go does not
seem an option

she is forever having to
temper her heart...
when all she wants to do....

is to love...

©
2009written September 2009

image source:sleepwalker+by+jessica+tremp

please visit my newest painting at: G A R A H S T A H

I am bound...

I am bound to my lover's touch
his touch, feather light 
and yet 
so deep

time has passed

yet I am still bound

though he is no longer here

 no longer near

I carry him with me
day and night...
night and day...

there is pain in his absence

oh my love!



It pains me to live without
his touch
and I linger here in memories
of what it felt to live in his embrace

I carry my love
as the seasons pass
their glory only serves to remind and heighten
what was...

A little space in time
a fleeting moment
a love ~ beautiful

yet a love not meant to last

 I am bound to my lover's touch...

©
2009

image source: don__t_believe_in_love_by_drshVS

her time will come...

sheltered she remains for she is safe
from hurt
from pain
from heartachethough she endures a secret painfor she is not sharing that part of herself that is even more deeply Her
 she nurtures in the homeyet dreams of being the one nurturedthough, one thing comes before the otherat least for a time...
her time will come of this she knowsand for this she will be ready...

©
2009
image source: Mother_child_ by Howard Weingardenthis one is titled:  Out_ of _body_ journeys 

*I am enthralled by his beautiful drawings and visionary art...zoom in for the full-effect

autumn as metaphor...

Indian Summer

summoned by Autumn to make

her final curtain call

after Autumn heightened her glory

she secretly wished to retreat
but held on for just awhile longer

does she weep?

does she leave quietly

and gracefully?

she had sensed Winter  lingering in wait
yet he made no demands
because he knew his fate

she felt fragile, depleted, spent...

after all she had given,

 though, as is her way,
 she gave freely and with love
yet,  even as she gave,  the giving took something from her
it had to, as a sign to re-build her strength
for her next vital performance

~

why does she hang on till the twelfth month's near end,

after all her sacred beauty has gone?

because
even though her time is short

the letting go, is always painful...

©

2009
image source: spirit of autumn_il_ 430xN.56319247

Architect of her life...

Her story unfolded,
Her energy depleted
She
breathlessly waited, hoped…
but not today
today she moves into the crisp
new russet, tawny wheat
world covered in blue skies
that defies all other blue skies
as the grey takes a rest
as she pounds the pavement to the
breaking day
breaking convention
breaking past the lies. the fate
that only served to
weigh her down,
yet now give strength.

she now sees beyond the falseness that
consumed …
there is newness
to be found in the light of day

today
to her
it's all new
bringing hope as the ocean waves hurl their energy
against her very being
cleansing her soul that has lived its sorrows
bringing forth a gentle all-consuming love
one that has deemed itself worthy
of praise, of reciprocity,
of trust
of respect

as she closes her eyes
she intends beauty to seep into every pore of her body,
her spirit
every vein, every cell
Consume her O’ love
Consume her, yet let her keep
her Self-intact,
her faith in relationship

Let her flow between give and take
Let her exist and yet stand-alone
A woman unto herself
Unto her achievements
Her plans
Her goals

She will thrive in a new day
In a new way
Fresh as the sun as it warms the sheets
that dry on the line that sways in the breeze
As all the details of her life,
her loves, move in and out of this realm of life and living

as she comes to understand
her needs
her wants
and the difference between the two
she becomes more herself than ever before
she has a power and a strength
that multiplies as she opens her heart
her mind, her soul, to something more suited to her
and she love’s with all she has and more

she will write
paint
design her very existence
she will ease into whatever comes her way
good
bad
sad
indifferent

she will know how to proceed
as she listens more intently
to her joys, to those things that speak
to her soul and leave the
most significant mark upon her

like a tattoo or tapestry
of her life the way it was written,
intended to play out,
to be drawn, to be weaved

it could have gone in any direction but it went where
it did and it always will,
though now she will see more vividly
the direction that is healthiest for her
and she will ride that wave
with gusto
with moxy
with a sharp wit and mind to match
she will flow
she will go
…she will LIVE STRONG

As the Architect of her life that
The Gods intended…


©
2009


image source: Citadel by=petitscargot

for my newest painting visit: G A R A H S T A H

as the skies open...

as the skies open

my soul sighs as I  breathe yet another breath

as a river flows and is never the same twice;

the sky too,  transforms, transcends

clouds move, dance, touch, then move on

forever changed, shapeshifting

into something new...

as do our lives...

i am this one day

i am something else the next

our love is one thing

and becomes yet another

all that can be hoped for is for the next level

to be better

more meaningful
 more beautiful

more enriching

that each day ~ a new way,

a heightened love is achieved

moving,

striving

reaching

loving into a new place

yet held together
like a luminous

strand of pearls

a gossamer thread that ties, binds

where some part

some element,

remains

forever unchanged

the basis of that love

its beginnings

what brought that love into BEING

~ let that remain

forever intact

~ ~ ~

i remember our beginning

and you touched me deeply...

this is why i love you

this is why in the big scheme of things...

i always will.

©

2009

all photos by Calli ~ September 2009

worthy of sharing? ...winds of change...

Autumn breaks through the barriers

of the late Summer Sun

Harvest has begun...

Leaves come to shroud the dissonance

that build upon the lands

readying themselves for Winter's long embrace

She comes...

He goes...

They move in separate ways.

yet, mysterious ones.

For what was known

is incomplete...

Autumn carries with it

a breath of exuberant air!

the dissonance so greatly needs.

come now lover

do not wait for the frost.

come now lover

when the leaves begin their dance

among smoky grey blue skies,

where the hawks fly

in unison,

bringing messages to those that

need them...

windows lay open for those last seasonal

breezes that blow,

bring change,

a new perspective

new opportunities

come now lover while the Sun streams through

the trees, and rises in the east hills of green, still,

yet becoming gold, red, orange.

come now lover

do not wait any longer

as the earth is readying herself

i ready myself for you...

©
2009

image source: Messages of the Hawk by Calli ~ This is an old painting that was published a few years ago, but one I would clearly make some changes to now. Yet, I still love the meaning behind it!

Welcoming Autumn...

welcoming you...

some new pics at: G A R A H S T A H