Sunday, February 13, 2011

a discourse on intimacy...

 Elizabeth Gilbert writes in her book , 'Committed'...
"We yearn for private intimacy even though it's emotionally risky. We yearn for private intimacy even when we suck at it...We yearn for private intimacy even when we are told that we should yearn for something else, something finer, something nobler. We just keep on yearning for private intimacy, and for our own deeply personal set of reasons. Nobody has ever been able to completely sort out that mystery, and nobody has ever been able to stop us from wanting it."
It is innate, this need. I believe, above all else, we need intimacy, we crave it, we have an intrinsic need to be known and understood and for many, this need outweighs all others. To simply exist in the world without deeply sharing with another is unfathomable to me. We can truly feel we know ourselves so completely but we have that desire to have that special someone know us just as completely. Someone that knows us in all of our earthly, soulful and spiritual glory. This speaks of true intimacy.

I first learned of something called 'split aparts' or twin souls in college while taking a Philosophy of Religion course taught by a wonderful teacher and priest. I loved this course immensely.  It was truly fascinating and birthed my love of all things mystical and philosophical.  Anyway, getting back to this ancient theory. Here, it begins with Plato, from his Symposium, though the essence of this theory has been seen throughout all of history. Here is a quote from Plato.

 “And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself,
the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and
one will not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment.”

~ Plato

2,500 years ago
Throughout our lives, relationships can come close to meeting this intimacy level, but somehow fall short, whether through our own failure, our beloveds failure or clearly a combination of both or simply our fate has not yet been graced with this explicit soul.   I believe that as we evolve we come closer to meeting this IDEAL within ourselves and within the other. The ideal love, the ideal mix of two, made into One. Not everyone has this requirement nor gives it much thought. However,  many, especially those spiritually and mystically inclined crave this after they've done the work of living, loving and not having relationships measure up. On rare occasions the very young can find this ideal early on, but I have witnessed repeatedly, this ideal making its appearance later in life. To be clear, some people never find their ultimate soul mate in this lifetime. Some believe that their twin soul can exist in the ethereal plane yet the connection is as real as if they were here (but that is another story).
No one should ever give up this dream of sharing the truest intimacy with a beloved. This exists if we open our hearts and souls to the ideal, as well as, the reality. I feel we can find practical, companionship type, mutually respectful relationships, but they may be lacking in the passionate, romantic sense; in that deep soulful way. I also feel that at different points in our lives we may find ourselves experiencing exactly that; the companionship type of love, but underneath it all, can be a LONGING ~ that ancient need to meet our truest beloved possible. Maybe God did create us in this manner. Maybe this idea of an androgynous soul blended with female/male, yin/yang nuances; destined to come together, is our Reality? That one day or lifetime for that matter, after working out our individual balancing of male/female energies, as well as, reaching a certain evolutionary level or level of enlightenment, we are then finally 'complete' enough in our Selves to meet our other half; who has also done the same work.
There are so many variations on the theory of twin souls  but its essence is that we will always have this DESIRE to reunite with our other-half, that we will finally become whole and experience the most beautiful, sacred kind of romantic love that exists.  
It wasn't simply Plato who wrote on the subject, Edgar Cayce did, the Sufi mystic poets, Hafiz, Rumi and Persian mystic, Khalil Gibran. If my memory is correct, Walt Whitman and Emerson had as well. Either way, it is a fairly well-known concept. When I think of this and believe me I spent much time reading up on the subject, I realized that this 'theory' can put us into a place of severe, perpetual longing with no manifestation of said twin soul in sight. That is not a good thing. Sure, we can share intimacy with one to whom is not necessarily our truest soul mate, or mirror-image, or shares with us an equal energetic/spiritual vibration but there is that all-consuming, compelling nature or idea of meeting one who IS our true other-half or split apart as Plato had termed it, and that can be overwhelming.

An anonymous quote found via the compelling book I'm reading titled: 'The Meaning of Mary Magdalene' by Cynthia Bourgeault, speaks of this kind of love:  "True love is a transforming force and is really the birth-pangs of a union on a higher plane."

This *union* on a higher plane is said to be a true conscious love, the most intimate of soul connections. I completely resonate with the use of the word *pangs* ...for this is exactly what this NEED feels like. 

This love, also written about in the 'Song of Songs' '...which has been, and will always be interpreted differently, depending on what an individual perceives as its true message.  This poem or song, from the Old Testament  is incredibly beautiful and even erotic. Having been written so long ago, testifies to the fact that this "LOVE";  this intimacy of joining and connection, has been around 
F O R E V E R  and will remain as such, whether taken to describe love of God or love of the beloved, it matters not. 
Here's a  passage: 

"Place me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal on your arm.
Strong as Death is love;
intense as Sheol is its ardor.
Its shafts are shafts of fire,
flames of Yah.
Deep waters cannot quench love,
nor rivers sweep it away."

*Yah (Yahweh) means Holy Love

More love quotes:

"The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable. " -Victor Hugo

Can you tell I have LOVE on my mind? and it has nothing to do with Valentine's Day, it is simply the nature of life and my most treasured of topics. 
And,  excuse my tangent, this is what I originally  came here to post.

Unspoken affections
cloaked in Winter's white

though time is nearing; tis' almost ripe!

this dialogue of want between
intimate souls
a lifetimes affliction? or
the most sublime of woes?

© 2011

More lovely quotes:

"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart." - Robert Sexton
"We are all born for love... it is the principle existence and its only end."
- Benjamin Disraeli

It's obvious this topic of intimacy, love, soul mates and twin souls, could go on indefinitely, but I'll let it rest...for now ;) 
I hope you all have a most beautiful and loving Valentine's Day ~ Make CUPID proud! :)

image source: Lovers Embrace by Henry Asencio

Until next time...


Brian Miller said...

smiles. so gilberts new book is good?

i hear you on the twin souls...and i think we were created to love and be loved...and share those intimacies...i think our deepest longing is to know and be known...truly known you know...

Calli said...

Hey Brian~ I must say you are the most faithful of readers and you might be my only reader ;) and yes, surprisingly I loved her new book. It was different than what I had expected but so interesting.
Thanks and smiles back :)

Steve E said...

Calli-Girl (saw you on D's blog)...this is one of the easiest readings on one of the deepest of subjects, that i can recall. I mean, why complicate something which is complicated already by its own nature?

Love, longing, Giving, needs, cravings, desires, fulfillment, on and on...are these not also attributes of that 'first neutron' we call God?

I didn't mean to belittle God's roll as Creator, as First before All.

Hey it is Soooo good to reconnect. I realize you do not have time to read everybody's ravelings, and that is OK!!! But I sure want to know when you post YOUR collected wisdoms.

Love you. PEACE!
Steve E

Calli said...

Oh Steve, LOVE is all those things and more...and I could come at it from different angles and perspectives each time I write about it, (all depends on my mood ;)...but yes, let's keep it simple...LOVE is LOVE!
Always happy to connect and I'm sorry, I have been very sporadic with visiting and posting, such is life. I'll try to do better, Mr.

Love you & peace and we'll catch up soon.

Dulce said...

My dear Twin,
You have made a real work of art through this analysis on our fave subject... So many directions to and from it can bring, it can take.
Intimacy is there between me and a few... but right now I feel I just have it with myself...hummmm ? lol

Thank you dear friend for coming by all those times today to my new blog

And hope to see you soon again
When I do is like a bright new day... 'guess who came to the party and I go and hug you...'

I liked my previous avatar better :)

Calli said...

Hey there, Twin girl! Such a sweet comment ~ thank you! Funny, how that whole love post came about as I had not intended to write it. I must have needed some piece of it for myself...:)

and I for one believe that there are times in life when it is absolutely essential to spend time with oneself. I feel it is the only way to get a real grasp on what it is we truly want and what makes us happy.

...and then there are times when we need to get out there and live in the outer world!!! ;)

hugs darlin'~

Nevine said...


Sometimes, when we sit down to write something with intention, nothing comes out. And other times, we just allow the mind to roam free, and it revels in its liberation and flies with it. That is when we write our most truthful... and most beautiful writing.

The kindred spirit... I have heard many talk about this before. I suppose I've never tried to search for mind because I believe my real kindred spirit is just my other dimension. That having been said, I'm not closing any doors to other kindred spirits; I'm just content not to have to search. ;-)

You have left me with much to think about, today. Thank you for that... and for sharing this most thoughtful side of you.


Catvibe said...

Oh dear, I have become such a non-blogger...but I hold you in my heart very dearly, I hope you know. I think this is the longing for God that you speak of. I truly believe that our ideals of soulmate hope actually get in the way of meeting a true soulmate. Because when we know that spark of God in another, we feel that connection so deeply, but the mundane truth of life separates us and we start to forget the gift we were given in that seeing. And yet...yes, I long for, so deeply long for, a truly compatible companion who I can share love freely with as well as navigate with ease the mundane realities. I do believe that is possible and I long for it. So wonderful to see your comment on my blog dear Sis. :-) Hugs.

Noelle said...

Beautiful post - true, indeed! Patiently awaiting my twin soul!


such a beautiful post, calli - just mesmerizing - and the plato quote! be still my own heart! i have been blessed to know that kind of twin love that never leaves us - never can leave us - again, a wonderful post - it's always such a joy coming here to this magnificent sanctuary!!!

Calli said...

To: Nevine, Catvibe (sis), Noelle and Gypsywoman, Thank you ladies and sorry for the delay. I have been down with the flu for over a week, but am happily getting back some well needed energy. Your words have soothed the flu beast within ;) and though I always have more to say on this subject of love and soul mates; let's just say that without a doubt I consider each of you kindred-spirits in this virtual land of blog :)... an amazing thought would be if one day we were able to all meet in person and we could sit for hours and talk of love and such...You never know!

Again, thanks and see you soon!

Steve E said...

This is gonna be a long one:
February 28. some worlds it is already March.

I have just finished a five-Monday, total 10-hr course, Introduction to Buddha. The most interesting 10 hours I've spent in entire life.

Your blog on LOVE (most of your posts tend in that direction?--grin!)
is so intricated with what I have been learning since January in the realm of attachment, duality, meditation, enlightenment
and the web of interconnection of everything with EVERYthing.

Exactly two weeks ago I read this post. What completely different, wonderful, and beautiful sense I am having this night, Feb 28. Re-reading, re-thinking, re-living and re-loving, and nearly total change in mentality is my experience.

Of course, since Consciousness is at the center of Hinduism and Buddhism, it is not a wonder to have experienced in a brief month
great changes in attitude about
E V E R T H I N G...........

Possibly I'll blog this, and since some of your own precious thinking is included, linking you would be my pleasure in an appropriate manner.

I wish that, as with Nevine, Cat Vibrant, Noel, and Gypsy-Girl, I'd also be granted an audience with with you one day. Just dreaming, of course, but you ARE one of those wealth(s) of knowledge to be found in these blogs.

OK. I'll go now--but I'm NOT finished--grin! With LOVE, and PEACE for you, I am Steve E

Calli said...

Mr, your course sounds great. I am happy to hear you are expanding in many ways ~ It's all good and always for the good ;)

Everything I do is somehow touched by my spiritual beliefs; it can't help but be as that is such a part of who I AM on the inside.

As far as your comment, as always you are generous and kind. I appreciate it Steve, very much so and always grin, smile, even laugh when you arrive. How can I not? As far as knowing and knowledge, we all possess it but sometimes it takes longer to remember...;)

Have a lovely...and keep taking new classes!
~love & peace to you~

Steve E said...

Wouldn't you KNOW? I read this whole "Philosophy of Love". Most of the way through it was as if reading it for the first time. That IS a compliment...

The fact that your thoughts of nearly two months ago still reverberate to mean something completely different.

It must be that we are ALL changing always. But I have totally new insight (for me) of the 'twin', the soul-mate, SO much more than an affinity

After having lived so long, and "been around"...I am SO in agreement with what you say--write, except that you wrote this piece right from the heart, almost as if non-stop.

Just needed to thank you again for SO many things, Calli-Girl. We have all settled into a love, live, and let live and love era. But my heart is where you know it is.

Seems like though (maybe you touched on this) age has finally exercised its magic, to where all that matters is those I love are happy, living fulfilling lives, and at least somewhat contented, not that I could change anything, but vibes sent out ARE different now.

Wishing you also the best of life these days. Stay well, stay beautiful. Much love from me to you comes tonight, with PEACE!

Steve E said...

OH! And INTIMACY: I could write another 15 minutes on that, but enough is good enough--for now, until.................

Calli said...

As always Steve, you grace me with the very best of comments ~ so appreciated and so meaningful.
I know what you mean, the discourse on love could change daily and usually does ;)...We are ever-evolving and so love evolves as well. Age certainly plays a significant part because what we feel at 20...certainly becomes something else at 40.

My wish is that you have love, and lots of it in your world.

You are a dear, Mr. and thank you for wishing me well (I AM!) and visiting, especially when I have been MIA for (like) ever!

peace and love to you~


my dear calli - i can only hope that you find this and will know that you were in my thoughts all day today, in particular - and then, just moments ago, i checked sitemeter to see who had dropped by just to browse - and there was your blog referral listed - i hope that it was, in fact, you, and that you will drop by again soon - and perhaps, leave a note of how you are and what is going on in your world -

until then - with much affection - gypsy

Calli said...

That was such a sweet note you left for me, Gypsy... so, so sweet! I feel terrible but I haven't visited a blogging soul in ages...and it means so much that you were thinking of me. I think of everyone and then I get to feeling guilty and know I had better take the time and make my rounds :)...but, I have been on a roll with some time consuming creative ventures, (to include a brand new website in-the-works) so blogging has gone by the wayside, but not without regret. I will make up for that...I just need to dedicate time and soon, so until then...

Miss you, lady and I hope your world is spinning in the most fabulous of ways!

Cynthia said...

Excellent post Calli - so true
this yearning, searching for our
other half is born within us I feel.

Calli said...

Aww, thanks! and I agree, the search is born within.

You're sweet for popping in...

Steve E said...


Has another dammmm year REEEELY gone by? I just rehung "RED", moments ago, and it occurred to me while thinking of you--"Why do I not WRITE C-Girl? and say how I miss you here and there. And that I am so often feeling grateful for your generosity in 2009.

So.....A friend asked me just an hour ago--in Face book: "Do you remember forever in your heart all the really loving friendships you have had?" So I began with age 5, and progressed on through college, symphony days, totally drunken years (Yesss, remembered a few really 'ugly' stories there!) and on up to now.

I have had such good fortune to know, like, and love SO MANY Peeps up to and including a very favorite one named CALLI-GIRL. So know that you continue as always special to me.

If you can make time, I'd certainly appreciate a fill-in of your life--good and bad or whatever you choose. Are you still painting, remodeling, decorating? Well I know the answers to those easy questions--grin!

I'm afraid to ask any Hard Questions...Just know, woman, you are loved in this part of the country as well as the rest of the world.

Anna is calling for some din-din, and so I'll leave you--for NOW-- with Love...and PEACE!

Steve E said...

HEY! As usual I forgot is about LOVE. Fellow asked the Master, "What is love?"

"Total absence of fear", said the Master.

"What is it we fear?"

"Love" said the Master.

--De Mello

Calli said...

Oh Steve~ So good to hear from you! I love that you're visiting long after I've posted. It has been a long time. I will shoot you an email very soon...sound good?
Calli-Girl :)

Gary Keimig said...

Beautifully expressed.

Calli said...

Thank you for that Gary and for your visit!