Sunday, May 31, 2009

fractured...





Everything feels fractured

My heart will never be the same



Our chapters have been read

Our story has been told

Our pictures lie on the cutting room floor



Our worlds collided with both beauty and pain



What remains?



I love

I have loved

I will love again…





© Calli 2009



image source: Nostalgia_by_Rawia on deviantart





Saturday, May 30, 2009

'Mona' new painting in progress...


Not quite knowing where to go with her...

Elongated neck? Not yet sure what was wrong, but knew something was...
18" x 24" ~ Oil on Canvas

Decided to keep her elongated neck and to show off her broad shoulders...

Close up ...
This is 'Mona' as named by my daughter, Alexandra.
She thought she looked like Mona Lisa in the original sketch, so I decided to
keep the name for her. She's not quite finished...but she's getting there...

~Calli

*remember ~ click any image to enlarge. don't be frightened, I'm not! ...

Friday, May 29, 2009

me without you...



Me without you…

Is a sad story.
One I wish had never
Been told.

We both know
We were better together
Than we ever could be apart.

Miss your energy infused
With mine...was always so
Richly sublime.

Me without you…

Is like a grey cloud
That holds the tears
That have been shed
By the multitudes.

Weakness, sadness,
Crying, defeated, heavy heart…
Where is the joy in?
Me without you?

I loved you.
I love you still.

I want what was had.
And not something new.

© Calli 2009


Image source: alt photos 4dac400de

Thursday, May 28, 2009

all roads lead to you...



All roads lead to you...
I promise you!
I am on my way...
I will soon be there...

I live for that day, that moment
That we touch our flesh for the first time.
We are destined to be...

I live for that day.


© Calli ~ (written early 2008)
on my other blog, brought it here 'as is' using the
same image...I always loved this image! Her
outstretched arms taking in the wind and yet following the
direction of her heart.

image source: my photobucket, but shamefully, I never put the photographer's name ...oops!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I have heard myself cry...




When it's good, then it's good
It's so good 'till it goes bad
'Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry, never again!
Broken down in agony
And just trying to find a friend...


lyrics from Pink's 'Sober'...
image source: yesterday_by_slychance

Sunday, May 24, 2009

never ending story...



the never ending story…
can barely detect its beginning

and despise the thought of its end

are you here as my teacher?
my messenger of love?
as my best friend?
or confidant?

either way …

you’ve created music in my heart,
words upon my blank pages,
art where there was none.

you’ve unearthed shadows in my soul
installed Light in my small darkened world

you’ve brought me to the brink of
perfected love…
you let me see, you let me touch
and down to the depths
where life was once full of sadness
and unpleasant emotions -
begging for freedom!
you set my soul on Freedom’s Path!

and I feel Whole once again …


© Calli 2009

image source: 25cae910622bb-1-1

Saturday, May 23, 2009

a departure in D ...



You burrow through me like
A Discarnate soul

Leaving in your wake
The bleakest of vibrations

The Darkness sucks out the light
And Drops head first into a vortex

It is Dank and Despairing
To not be able to shake off
This black and Dangerous Desire

Your sweetness
Hurts like poison Daggers
Vapors Diseased remain

Your inconceivable ways

Bleeds a sweet on you,
Heart Dry

Disparaging ~ Declining
Debasing ~

Disbelief sets in and
Desire that was waxing
Is now waning

Disillusioned~
And fallen

Is this love?

Oh, your Develish verbiage kills

And you know it not!

© Calli 2009

image source: ____new_LIGHT_usual_PAIN____by_twELveRN

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Mmm details...



An impression has been made!

And I want to know more…
Much more…about you!

What is your favourite colour?
What do your kisses taste like?
What moves you, Baby?

My thoughts so tangled up
in this, this wanting to know more
about you.

Never before has someone
peaked my interest as much as you!
Details, they finally mean something!

What do you like for breakfast, Baby?
Do you read the Sunday paper in bed?
Do you love kissing as much as I do?

Mmm, details
Those little thrills
that are like candy sprinkles
on a hot fudge sundae

And just like, I want the cherry on top

I want to know more about YOU!

© Calli 2009

image source: Rendezvous__Kiss_Me_by_ammartinez

Sunday, May 17, 2009

beautiful...



Late Night Alumni ~ Group
Beautiful ~ lyrics

Here we are, finally together
holding close, never release this feeling, this moment, my dream is now

I'm loving you,

chorus:
cause you're beautiful, something in your eyes tells me I have found
love that never dies
I don't have to dream
reality is beautiful in you
I never felt more true

there you are
finally the answer
take my hand
never release the sweetness, the magic, and happiness I've found in you

chorus

here we are...

chorus

beautiful....

image source: breath_away

Thursday, May 14, 2009

over the edge...


Over the Edge

Through the disciplined precision of our efforts, we'll come again and again to our edge--the difficult places beyond which we've previously been unable to move. Through the willingness to soften and surrender to what is, we learn that we can gradually move beyond that edge. It is only through this interplay of hard and soft, of effort and letting be, of will and willingness, that we learn to our amazement that we can emerge from the lifelong tunnel of fear that constitutes our substitute life into the nitty-gritty reality of our genuine one.

-Ezra Bayda, from Being Zen: Bringing Meditation to Life (Shambhala)

image source: FlatEarth_by nunoxei.com

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

sometimes, the writing is on the wall...



in a good way!

image source: i_love_u_by_AnBystrowska

Monday, May 11, 2009

nothing else matters...




this is lovely!

from the talented group: Apocalyptica
whose members hail from Helsinki, Finland.
a quartet comprised of classically-trained cellists.

Friday, May 8, 2009

something inside...


Jonathan Rhys Meyers-from the film
August Rush ~ 'Something Inside'...

When the one thing you're looking for
Is nowhere to be found
And you back stepping all of your moves
Trying to figure it out
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head's wrapped around what's around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm
'Cause you're shivering cold
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you

So long you've been running in circles
'Round what's at stake
But now the times come for your feet to stand still in one place
You wanna reach out
You wanna give in
Your head's wrapped around what's around the next bend
You wish you could find something warm
'Cause you're shivering cold
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on
It's the first thing you see as you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you

It was your first taste of love
Living upon what you had

It's the first thing you see when you open your eyes
The last thing you say as your saying goodbye
Something inside you is crying and driving you on

'Cause if you hadn't found me
I would have found you
I would have found you
I would have found you
I would have found you

*a modern day Fairy Tale...

Elgar's Cello Concerto in E minor...Opus 85 ~ taken from one of 4 movements, this one: Adagio ~ Moderato...
lyrics: Steve Erdody and Jonathan Rhys Meyers

meet me halfway...


meet me halfway, my love

I am very near

all I ever asked was for you
to meet me halfway

It's as it should be...

but be sure of this
you are more than halfway into my heart

you are ALL the way into my heart!

so meet me, halfway!

© Calli 2009

image source: unknown

Thursday, May 7, 2009

leave the pieces...





...in celebration of dusting off my guitar...
~ Calli

image source: guitar loving by guitargirlsclub
*turn down my music player below to view this video.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

the guest house...



The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.


Rumi


image source: mmm_009_updt_by_scarabuss metin demirilay

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

third eye blind...





the minds eye can hold a prison

within, it's empty cavity

devoid of matter

recklessness ensues



inside; third eye blind

unaware

unseeing

untestified

lost in quiet desperation



seeds of hope planted...



though dark it remains

caught between reality and imagined darkness?



one can see

smell

taste

and

touch

though what lies deep, is still yet caged

crying for release

endlessly longing

looking for an out



a final release from this



abyss



© Calli 2009



image source: image

Sunday, May 3, 2009

reaching...


reaching...

reaching within, reaching out
for you

wanting so, to touch your hands
your face

to hold it
to behold it

reaching...
yet knowing full well
the tide, it comes, it goes

the tide, like you,
comes within my reach
then releases back to the sea

but each time the waves roll in
there is something different!
something new!
something beautiful!
never the same twice

always a sweet surprise
a new depth to be discovered

this is what I see in you, Baby!

and this is why,
I'm still reaching!

© Calli 2009

image source: ruth imageshack.com

Saturday, May 2, 2009

nouvelle vague - dance with me...

a French musical collective led by musicians Marc Collin and Olivier Libaux. Their name is a play on words referring simultaneously to their "Frenchness" and "artiness" (the '60s new wave of cult French cinema), the source of their songs (all covers of punk rock, post-punk, and New Wave songs), and their use of '60s Bossa nova-style arrangements. (from Wikipedia)



I just love this! love it! makes me smile!

cuz when it's all said and done, you keep on dancin'



Hope you're dancin' through your weekend!



~Calli