Monday, August 31, 2009

her voice...

her voice

choked off

once happy and free
to roam
 to witness
 to just be...

feels caged.

what was once vital and true
has brought serious blue...

it was her Signature, her way
to pour from the depths of her being
that is all she knew...

on paper
on canvas
in love

taken away

her essence 
her muse
what a price to pay

somewhere her 'freedoms right'
to share
(even if necessary)
no longer feels

her voice,

now shamed
now glass, 
reflected beauty

her voice now




image source: Calli...

Sunday, August 30, 2009

tears beseech...

tears beseech

release and heal
thine heart
for it needs to lay open
in order to accept and invite love

tears beseech

i am like a child
feeling closed off
i do not hear
i shut out this plea from my tears

time passes...

in the distance
a Cello begins to play...

i fall apart...

damn those tears
they got through
they know exactly
what breaks me

wide open
broken open


tears beseech
tears beseech that i

can be free


image source; woman0 from

Thursday, August 27, 2009

who is she?...if... 2 for 1

who is she
that reaches for dreams
that somehow seem
just beyond her

who is she
that gets lost in thoughts
as seen through her mystical
and philosophical eyes

who is she
that paints pictures
and has the need as deep
as the deepest ocean

who is she
that wishes to be free
to roam this world like the
bohemian soul that resides inside of her

who is she
that moves in & out of her reality
because at times, what is, is just too harsh to bear

who is she that longs for her lover
during those moments when he feels
a million miles away

who is she that mothers her children
and nurtures with a sometimes sad and
overwhelmed heart

who is she? ...

she is me!

image source: meeting by martien@arnhem

if i were able i would uplift
the angst in this world
i would bring Light to
every corner, every darkened path

and so that you could see your
way to me, to us.

if i were able, i would sing
with the voice of an Angel
to soothe the pains
of those who cry
and so that you could hear me and
my silent tears...

if i could i would find you
and keep you near

and live upon that nearness

...until the day i die


image source: daydream by martien arnhem

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

i turn towards you...

thoughts take their turn
as my face turns to meet your imagined gaze
and my body moves to be caressed by your imagined hands

as your imagined breath meets mine
as your presence stills my heart

your sweet lips lightly touch upon my cheek

i turn, as turning towards you
is all that i can do.

you, sending pleasure
up & across
the meridian of my body, my soul

i tingle
i arch my back as my mind drifts
sweetly, in and out
of this subtle but
unmistakable bliss


© 2009

image source: 028-ohlsson (i do hope this lovely image does not offend anyone. i have wanted to use it for a long time. i love it, and felt it a perfect match for my words)...

Monday, August 24, 2009

free fall...beautiful tears...2 for 1

Interlude of sorrow
Amid profound silence
That beckons
“Be with me”…

Arduously meditating before a precipice
Am I strong enough? love
Without promise or expectancy?
Can I withstand the probabilities?
Can this love truly fulfill?

"let go

"reason has no place
in matters of the heart."

"you have loved with promises,
and where did that get you?"

Bearings none,
Or limited, at best.

Walled in
A chance,
A chance to break free.

Dare I step into this unknown?
Love, uncondemned
Sans the pain of a contemptuous rage

To be loved with a
Sacredness felt only
In the deepest caverns of the heart

The inner Chalice or Holy Grail
The capacity of which stuns,
and sends even the coldest of hearts to their knees

Dare I step?
Dare I linger here?
insulated from all exterior intrusions
Or will fate take position
and force movement?

is this
my time

Free fall?..

image source: m_xx_155_by_scarabuss

Beautiful tears
They fall
They beckon
Want me by (his) side

Truth be told, no other place
Would feel as natural

Beautiful, sacred tears
They have a knowing
Beyond (our) comprehension
They perceive what the mind cannot
They call upon the heart
Take cues from the soul
They plead

Wake up!
Declare this love!

This is YOUR chance
At a lasting, all-encompassing love

Be still in mind
Energetic in soul
Blazing in heart

But, GRAB HOLD this resplendent love

© 2009

image source: February__Get_ink__shed_tears__by_TristanGreer

Saturday, August 22, 2009

i bequeath my soul...

I bequeath my soul
To seas and shores
Where once whispered
I love you's!
were met with I love you too's!
On winds now hollowed
with distant and melancholy memories

I bequeath my soul
To rains
To shadows
To trees swaying in the breeze

I bequeath my soul
To rapids fast and furious
To mountain streams
To desert lands

I bequeath my soul
To music that speaks to your soul
and reminds you, of me and my love for you.

I bequeath my soul
To your children
and know that I have seen them
and they are beautiful.

I bequeath my soul
To sunsets
To sunrises
To everything in between

I bequeath my soul
To all good and right
rituals near and far

I bequeath my soul
To journeys not yet taken

and as I look out beyond this veil

I bequeath my soul

To you…

© 2009

image source: Cello_Emmanuelle_by_roninsps

*in memory of my Mother; my Angel, whose wings took flight through the Veil, 38 years ago today.
somehow, it felt right to write this from what might be, her perspective.
...and to all of those beautiful souls who journey home and yet somehow leave behind
fragments of their soul, and their love that we will always treasure.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Things I love and am Grateful for...

Quite awhile ago, several blogger friends were composing gratitude and meme lists. Listing those things that are held dear to each of them. I have finally composed my here it is. i wish it were in its entirety, but that would take up a lot of space. I'd be here all day...

Things I Love and am Grateful for...

at the very top: my Children and my Family... and Being in love!
and with that said, the remainder of the list goes on in NO particular order.

the rain,
country churches,
the breeze when it crosses my face or the face of a lover,
when a man i love touches my face, this wickedly reminds me of the scene from 'The Way We Were' when Barbra Streisand (Katie) brushes her gloved hand to move Robert Redford (Hubbell's) hair. i die a little, each time i see that.
the sound of children's laughter, the joy of seeing a child read their first words and learn to fall in love with books,
the reciprocated love and joy my pup Oliver and I share,
having my own home, kissing a man i love, being kissed by a man i love.
that feeling that tells you, oh yes, i'm in love, you know that feeling of butterflies
and i can't wait to be near him; the hunger, the longing.
holding a man i love, being able to look at him and know inside the
incredible love i have for him, but also knowing what a deep sense of respect and pride, i have as well. Loving the fact that I get to be with (him). How lucky am I? Not many people can say that, and to me you know you're in a good place when you have that sense of being proud of 'who' your partner is, and he has the same feelings about you.
books and the truly magical world they open up.
art, painting, sculpting, writing, music, poetry, literature
philosophy, & all things metaphysical and mystical...
the beach
when the Sun streams through the clouds
photography ~ (i own numerous camera's ).
a great film
a great performance by a talented actor/actress
a great movie soundtrack
fresh, crisp high-thread count sheets
the scents of lavender and vanilla combined ~ heavenly
bubble baths
spiced pair, green apple spice or cinnamon scents or candles.
a great cup of coffee
going barefoot
acoustic guitar
the cello
road trips with a spontaneous flair, example: let's see where the road takes us...
great conversations
flowers and gardening
an intelligent man,
a man with a sense of humor to die for! (that should also be at the top) after being in LOVE, but then again, that's usually the 'quality' that puts me over-the-edge for him.
a man who knows how to cherish and loves to be cherished in return.
the smell of the dryer running, especially when it hits the air outside
(strange i know, but i love that!) i could just stand there and inhale it.
okay this one is strange also, but i love the smell of gas while pumping gasoline at the gas station. (don't worry, i inhale in moderation ;-)
tomato and Hellman's mayonnaise sandwiches.
homemade guacamole and salsa,
sushi and avocado veggie rolls with wasabi sauce (i could live on those).
mashed potatoes with homemade gravy.
(okay, that's enough of food stuff because i could go on and on).
being so exhausted you just crash in the deepest way into an incredibly
fabulous nap, preferably while swaying in a hammock. even more preferred, in a hammock for two!
Jeep Wranglers
my favourite season of Autumn. there is no other time when i feel
more ME, that's part of what the season does for me, tho i can't even put it into words.
All of my friends and neighbors, big & small (they are the best ever!)
Golden Retrievers. especially Emma & Jenny my neighbors dogs, they're sisters.
New England, my heaven, my home away from home. If I could be there full-time, I think I'd relocate.
panoramic views
food again, cheesecake, carrot cake, oh shoot me before i go on...
I love a great many things and I have learned a long time ago, to be grateful, to
thank God for all these things in my life, both big and small. I honor each one of them...Honestly, this list could go on and on and there are things and people who come into my life on a regular basis and I simply have no choice but to become, even more grateful.

I am also grateful for each & every one of YOU!


image source: add-serenity-to-your-garden-with-kn

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

anguished ~ but for a moment...a 2 for 1...

how is it this particular
feeling can quicken the pulse while sending
stops & starts of pain
within the heart region?
out of nowhere
causing tears to well in
burning eyes
with a sting so fierce!

what is spirit asking? telling? wanting? probing?
i want to sleep, that is what i say.
i just want to sleep.

until this passes…

overwhelmed jaw
hurting with a cry
dying from the deepest region
begging release!

i hold it back
though this face hurts
where does this begin?
where does this end?
i asked you not to come
i said this heart needed a rest
you defied and came
wishes unheard!

fragments of a sad
destitute dream
remembered from weeks ago
why do you reappear?
the hurt,
the angst
the confusion

i know this will pass
and i will once again regain composure

perhaps answers
will never come as to why?

why? this mood comes to pass
my countenance changed
it shades, while this body is hurled
into the fetal position
from whence it came
it returns

take back all of it!
give back to this heart
its required shelter
its comfort
no pain

stop ~ go away, i say!
i bleed
i dream
repetitive in nature
a cycle
a turn that comes
comes back yet again

take your turn and then leave…
i declare sanity!
in an insane world

And thank God,
this too shall pass…

image source: anguished by jessica tremp

i, summoned
came forth
only to be left standing
without a cause…

there I stood enveloped
in darkness
tangled in threads that weaved such memories
of you, and of us

at once, a spotlight shone
and circled my form
highlighting imprints left
of black & white
and every shade of grey in between.

messages, words:

why do you stand there my child?
why has your light turned cold?
and dim?

those questions inaudibly received…
those answers inaudibly sent…

my child you are of this Light!
you need not dwell in darkness
for your light is vibrant and essential
and radiates a warmth that those
close to you feel, live and breathe.

this is the purpose of light
to bathe
to soothe
to reflect
to guide
to give Hope
to uplift...

please child let your Light return.
i sent you for a reason and a purpose
be strong in that knowing
S H I N E O N !

…as we planned
…as we set forth as your charted course.

S H I N E O N !

and know there will be moments
where sadness or feelings of defeat will come
nevertheless, you are YOU, and YOU are strong
and will always RISE ABOVE.

because YOU are one of my children
and i treasure and adore you…

Now Go S H I N E O N !


image source: _MG_6948ec

Saturday, August 15, 2009

he said, she said...

Dialogue from: a Love Story in Progress

He said, “Baby, you make the Sun wish it shined more brightly!”

She said, “Thank you, Baby! You’re something sweet!”

He said, “How would you choose to spend forever?”

She said, “Loving you, what else!”

He said, “Well, Darling, that can be arranged.”

She said, “I hope I can handle it”

He said, “I’ll be with you, every step of the way!”

She said, “Good! That’s the way I like it! Now, are you hungry? Because, I’m

He said, "That is exactly why I love you! You know how to
have fun, how to laugh, when to be serious, when to be silly.”

She said, “I couldn’t be any other way. And, I am so happy you like who I am.”

He said, “Like, love, adore, and everything in between.”

She said, (while sighing deeply) “I feel the very same, about you.”


image source:

Thursday, August 13, 2009

more WIP's in progress...

she's untitled & just a portion of the painting
11 x 14 oil on canvas

pondering him...a close-up version...12 x 16
oil on canvas

a peek of a special project...a rather large 30" x 30" project...this is only a fraction...

I have been creating WIP's like a crazed woman. I do have my moments...;)
I work on several pieces at a time as I wait for the oil paints to dry and because I lack in patience. So I begin another piece. It's how I work. These were
created while listening to Keith Urban. I rarely listen to country music, but I love him and 'Stupid Boy'...well, I just love to crank that song!

Until we meet again...

love in parts...

Part I

There’s a window

Speaking volumes

Telling, almost secretly saying,

“I am here”…

…willing me towards it

…teasing me towards it

Whispering. “You can believe”…

…“And, I will never hurt you”…

Part II

He is beautiful!

If he were to give his love

Solely to One?

Even the Angels would cry.

Even they would not be able to bear the Beauty!

Part III

Decisions, decisions, decisions…

Part IV

And they lived Happily Ever After!

*well, a girl can dream, can’t she?

damn straight she can!

painting titled: 'window of love'

12 x 16 ~ oil on canvas

a WIP (work-in-progress) by me...

more WIP's at:




Tuesday, August 11, 2009

lessons in love...

when love falls upon you…

it takes hold of your breath
your heart catches, races
you then find yourself
body & soul
in a deep, deep sigh…

love, love is pain and beauty all at once

what are we without both? for we would
never know what it’s like to feel, to breathe,
to truly be alive, ah, but the pain, the scars
they bleed; they filter over into everyday life.
as much as we try to conceal, they are there…

at times, the pain catches in your throat
strangling your words,
your thoughts
your mind…

it is like a war within
fight to love!
love to love! and be loved!

at times, love ~ so intoxicating!

right or wrong?
we love
right or wrong?
i look at you through divine eyes
and love with same…

eyes that do not judge
i can only love

and allow your love to tear down my walls
both seen and unseen

how can this love be wrong?
this cannot be wrong
and if I truly love with divine eyes
then those eyes see nothing but love
no barriers
just truths
love – the pureness of

no matter where this love takes us…

i will always love you.

because when we love, we just do.
it is just the way it is…

try to explain to your heart, to mine
that we love? it needs no explanation
it just is… is easy to allow love to capture us
fighting it is insanity
for love takes hold

takes hold…
and love is simply love


image source: 1113nq3+ramblinvirg

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." Emily Bronte

Saturday, August 8, 2009

no words...

no words
just touch...

sweet lips
tender and true

giving eyes and heart

sacred language of soul

a knowing
a resonance that tells
where to place fingertips,

secret language
simply saying,
profoundly saying

i l o v e y o u

© 2009

image source: tinypic+s1842d by Short2000

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

new painting ~ her muse...

my newest painting at:


thanks for viewing...

her muse...

her muse... 12 x 16 ~ acrylic on canvas

she is from another time

she walks in beauty

amidst her English garden
surrounding her English cottage

her muse...

she dreams of days gone by
she treasures these moments
shared with Mother Earth

she herself has been muse to many

yet she dreams

of a love that pleases her
as much as her flowers do...


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

the tender breeze...

the tender breeze
brushing against my skin
my face...

carried by your love
your very presence

found freedom amidst nature
amidst this union
this desired love

penetrating my heart
my needs

adoring like sunshine
basking in the glow
fervent and full
set in bronze tones
milky skin
creating a work of art
a work of love

sandstone, clay
your likeness and mine
embedded upon our souls
no statuary necessary

to remember...

© 2009

image source: love_trio_by_emiliadev

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Brother Sun ~ Sister Moon...

crimson light
furled and unfurled
rolls across the horizon
beating blood red
pulse of the Sun himself.

comes full, rests for the night
taken over by Moon herself
yet, shared this night
one far east one far west
synergistic motions as each professed

Brother Sun
Sister Moon

have you enjoyed your day?
your night?
as i have, as i am

beauty in daybreak
beauty in nightfall


oh, if we only knew, what they
collectively 'see' in a given day
a given night?
oh, how we would pray.

Brother Sun
Sister Moon

do sing us your heavenly tune...

photo and words by ©
apropos that i captured this photo friday evening while
driving here to visit my brother...:)