Monday, July 26, 2010

letting in...letting out...

16 x 20 acrylic on canvas ~ Vulnerability in love  ~ painted in 2006

shrouded outwardly**
inwardly open and raw

let him in ~ again
only to be let out
like a dog

moonlight, spot lit
severed thoughts
far, the dream had come
but stopped dead in its tracks like that of
a deer crossing a meadow on  a
cold moonlit night
as it sensed danger nearby,
i sensed danger in him

i awakened to dampness
my brow perspired with anticipation
heart beat in rhythm to his
once sacred, now scared
sleep come!
how i wish to sleep it away!
to sleep him away
to sleep away his lies
his betrayals
the reality that he needed something,
something that apparently no one could give

what he needs will never be
for he is lost in a plethora of needs
none of which will hold his gaze or satisfaction

selfish needs
dark deeds
they will never be met
nor should they

his vanity
his own mirror cracks at his self-indulgence
IT cannot take
the ego he wears like a crown
a crown of thorns unto himself
though their points have no affect on me

humility could give rise
but not likely
ego? illness?
ego illness?
a psyche that is not of the norm
i am petrified that i've given my heart
to someone that has a cold
devious desire to weaken those who love

image source: Painting by Calli

*interesting that I found this in my edits in blogger. I never posted it and when I read it, in its  immediacy, it did not feel as though I had written it. I think this happens when we *automatic write* from a place of hurting or sadness or when purging old feelings, emotions and beliefs. We express from a deep, cavernous place within and it all at once makes sense and yet does not. I love when this happens, because this is when we write from our place of Truth and what could be more profound than that. 
**also interesting to me is that in the painting she is vulnerable and sans clothing to depict her vulnerability and yet in the poem  she is shrouded (covered) to hide her pain. Signifies how we can be completely covered and still feel unsafe, naked and vulnerable. 

I am creating a few posts on my recent trip to Vermont. I will be posting in a series because I have so many things I want to share...stay tuned for that! but
until then you can view NEW paintings & pics here: 
Patina of a Life Expressed

Paintings and Patina's ...

It has been a long time and much to catch up on...This is the painting that I did for my Chiropractor's office a few months ago. They're Kanji script symbols for Energy, Peace, and Love (Love being my fave ~I will probably have this tattoo one day). This is not the best photo but the painting glows where it resides. His office is somewhat Zenlike and I wanted to create something that is an expression of what he does. An exceptional chiropractor blends a number of modalities into his work and this is reflected in the painting; the flow of energy along the meridian or spinal column. Peace because there is a feeling of peace after one has had adjustments done (if only temporary) and Love because love is the basis of all things to include healing...:)

 12 x 12 mixed media on canvas

You may remember my published self-portrait where I have also painted the Kanji Script symbol for LOVE. Maybe, I'll skip the tattoo idea and just keep putting it in my paintings ;) She sits in my foyer.

she is a work in progress ~ 30 x 40 mixed media on canvas

This is my new screen that I found in an antique shop in Hammondsport weeks ago. It is PERFECT in my dining room, tho' it was not my original intent to place it there. It needs a good cleaning and polishing, but for under $50 ~ A fortunate find indeed!

This is an abstract that I finished prior to my trip, also painted with no intention of the outcome...These are usually my favourite paintings.

 18 x 24 mixed media on canvas ~ note: my good friend Anna who lives just outside of Seattle, said that this painting would do very well there. She said, "I imagine myself sitting at the lakes edge in my hiking boots taking in the view"...nice description Anna!

16 x 20 acrylic on canvas

Here is a nude that I also painted with no intention if its outcome. She looks so much better in person. I was painting with feeling and not at all concerned with exactness of anatomy, form etc. My new fab find is an unbleached white paint and I simply love it!
...and so I hope you enjoyed catching up a bit. I will be back to post several photos from my recent trip to Vermont. You'll enjoy, I promise! And, if you'd like please visit Shades of Grey soon for some poetry that sat in my edits since last year and called out to be published.

much love~
© 2010