Wednesday, August 19, 2009

anguished ~ but for a moment...a 2 for 1...

how is it this particular
feeling can quicken the pulse while sending
stops & starts of pain
within the heart region?
out of nowhere
causing tears to well in
burning eyes
with a sting so fierce!

what is spirit asking? telling? wanting? probing?
i want to sleep, that is what i say.
i just want to sleep.

until this passes…

overwhelmed jaw
hurting with a cry
dying from the deepest region
begging release!

i hold it back
though this face hurts
where does this begin?
where does this end?
i asked you not to come
i said this heart needed a rest
you defied and came
wishes unheard!

fragments of a sad
destitute dream
remembered from weeks ago
why do you reappear?
the hurt,
the angst
the confusion

i know this will pass
and i will once again regain composure

perhaps answers
will never come as to why?

why? this mood comes to pass
my countenance changed
it shades, while this body is hurled
into the fetal position
from whence it came
it returns

take back all of it!
give back to this heart
its required shelter
its comfort
no pain

stop ~ go away, i say!
i bleed
i dream
repetitive in nature
a cycle
a turn that comes
comes back yet again

take your turn and then leave…
i declare sanity!
in an insane world

And thank God,
this too shall pass…

image source: anguished by jessica tremp

i, summoned
came forth
only to be left standing
without a cause…

there I stood enveloped
in darkness
tangled in threads that weaved such memories
of you, and of us

at once, a spotlight shone
and circled my form
highlighting imprints left
of black & white
and every shade of grey in between.

messages, words:

why do you stand there my child?
why has your light turned cold?
and dim?

those questions inaudibly received…
those answers inaudibly sent…

my child you are of this Light!
you need not dwell in darkness
for your light is vibrant and essential
and radiates a warmth that those
close to you feel, live and breathe.

this is the purpose of light
to bathe
to soothe
to reflect
to guide
to give Hope
to uplift...

please child let your Light return.
i sent you for a reason and a purpose
be strong in that knowing
S H I N E O N !

…as we planned
…as we set forth as your charted course.

S H I N E O N !

and know there will be moments
where sadness or feelings of defeat will come
nevertheless, you are YOU, and YOU are strong
and will always RISE ABOVE.

because YOU are one of my children
and i treasure and adore you…

Now Go S H I N E O N !


image source: _MG_6948ec


Steve E. said...

Calli, just above the "comment" window (no, I do NOT want to run into
that window, either!) you have written "Love your thoughts..."

Well, I "Love your thoughts..." also.

Chuck Dilmore said...

wow... Calli!

i picture you
with pen in one hand
paintbrush in the other
and maybe a rose in your teeth...

how are you churning out
such deep, emotional
wordplay and art?

love it!

Calli said...

Steve~ awe, thank you! You see, it's mutual!

Chuck~ What a truly lovely thing to say, thank you so much!

...and I wish I could do both at the same time ~ that would be a sight to see! and let me not forget the rose in my teeth ;)

Shadow said...

your first poem brought such sadness, desire for peace

and your second a precious plea for "you to see what i can see in you"

outstanding work calli, outstanding!

Calli said...

Shadow~ You are all things Light! Thank you so much dear girl...Coming from you, these words mean so much.

I am grateful for all of your comments...